So maybe it is from the medical pills I took last night, but I my heart hurts.  It seems so alone going to school, my mattie cat is gone and probably hates my guts, and jason is a stupid face.  I guess I know how he feels when he dumped Rei for me.  I only want to see matt atm.  I feel so stupid for being ungrateful to matt.  I got some bad news about him about me, and its tearing up my heart.  I just want to scream to him and make him listen to me.  I know its not possible, but I can't help it.  I feel like I have no friends since school started, the guy I am seeing now I can only see him once a week.  It is getting old. 
At this point I wish I never took the pill, because now I have emotions and feelings.  The pain was all numb after I got off BC. maybe I am a starved puppy for attention.  I jsut wish someone would care enough about me to call me up and see how I am feeling, but forces of nature prevent that safety-net and trying to teach me a lesson about being alone.