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A very serious topic

I guess I can say this is a subject I have been thinking about for quite sometime now. Though I'm not sure if this is something that is appropriate to discuss. If it offends anyone let me apologize in advance. Though if this offends you, then more than likely you do not participate in the actions that I suggest and think so highly of. In regard, try to realize that your own ignorance on this subject may be blinding you, keeping you from the path of cleanliness.

You are probably wondering what exactly am I about to discuss with you. I surly do not want to keep you waiting, but I must first inform you that this is a very serious topic. With all serious topics there is usually not just one way, but many ways to go about coming to a concise conclusion. With this topic it is different, there is but only one way and that is the way of the razor.

Does body hair really have a purpose? I do not believe it does, especially since the invention of clothes. Certain hair does not bother me, like the hair on our arms or for guys like the hair on our legs. But the hair that does bother me is underarm hair and the hair down south. I am not just talking about hair on girls I am talking about hair on boys too.

There is truly no benefit from this hair. In the time before we were civilized, running around naked to gather berries, and hunting for food, this hair served a purpose of protection and warmth. Now unless you're from Alabama or even Arkansas, your probably not running around butt naked in the bushes hunting and gathering food. As you can see in today's modern society there is no need for this grotesque hair to exist, no need at all.

Traditionally in western society shaving this lower region is considered to be sexually related. People of a more modest upbringing, especially females tend to feel guilty for shaving their... well you know. As if they are some type of slut or whore. This is one of those things that have always confused me - especially when taking this action only leads to a healthier and cleaner life style. Plus it sure makes your boyfriend or husband, or even both, a lot happier too. Though some guys do prefer hairy women, I can speculate on this but remember this is just a speculation.

Men that like hairy women really just like apes. Traditionally these men would hold a relationship with these female apes, becoming outcasts in both the primate and human societies. This has been going on for thousands of years, but recently in the past seventy-five years countries like the United States have banned this. Unfortunately causing all these men that like hairy apes to move to France and other European countries, where the women really do resemble hairy primates.

The problem is here in the United States we do not like change. That is because of habituation, which our tolerance of change is non-existent, or easier put it we are lazy. Me must educate ourselves that hair, especially down there is dirty, the mark of the devil himself. This is not just for girls, this is for boys too, and the same benefits apply to both males and females.

If you think about it girls are just as smelly as guys, but how many times have you been stuck next to a girl on the bus or in a public place where you can not even breath because the contamination from under her arms is oozing out like a poisonous gas? If you live in Europe, particularly France your answer would be everyday but here in the United States your answer would be never. That is because women here shave their armpits, unlike men their armpits do not trap, sustain smelly body odors in a forest of underarm hair like a man has and the women in France.

Now I am not trying to stereotype, but some things are just so common like how the French really smell and need to take showers more often. Or like how all British people have messed up teeth, or how Canadians have at least one grandmother that is lumberjack.

Now stereotyping is completely wrong and unethical, and I would never stereotype - but there is a fine between stereotypes and truths. Like how all Russian girls are really hot, even if they are communist bastards. You know what I'm saying? Even here in the in North America; all that really matters is the United States.

Here in the United States we have perfected the flawless society, with Wal-Marts and 7-11's on ever block to attend to our every desire. Americans are perfect, we have the lowest obesity and diabetes rates in the world. We all share the same common interests for example I have never met an American that did not like Football and Nascar. I have only once met an American that did not cary a gun, he was like some weird vegan kid that actually though eating fruits and vegetables was healthy - boy is he wrong.

Look at Mexico, what do they got going on for themselves, everyone of them eats rice and beans everyday for every meal and wears a sombrero while traveling to work on their donkey painted like a zebra. Do they really think painting their donkeys will make them go faster? My wife is Mexican and she sold our second car to buy a donkey so she could take the kids to school on it. I tried very hard to convince her that a new striped paint job would not get her better (MPH) miles per hour. But we pained our donkey anyways. At least we got the sweetest looking donkey on the block.

To our north we got backwards Canada that thinks free health care for every citizen is a human right. We all know that universal healthcare could never have any benefits for the hard working middle class, which is more than 70% of the United States population. I say if Canada doesn't get their head on straight we get old George W. Bush to bomb those altruistic, Ghandi loving, Che following, Tolstoy reading, Trotsky thinking, tranquil Canadians. Because the only way is the American way! If you do not agree, or think about questioning our ways we will just let the media say you are a threat to our perfect way of living and any American that disagrees we will label them as being unpatriotic. It is quiet simple; we have used this strategy for every ethical war we ever have started.

Back to body hair - With myself I have noticed a lot since I started to shave my underarms. I feel cleaner; I use less deodorant, and my underarm smell less. Plus when I flex in the mirror my arms look buffer with no hair and the ladies dig it. So this is something I suggest to everyone.

Another thing I suggest is shaving the hair down in the lower region for both boys and girls, the benefits are far greater than not shaving. For oral gratification both parties will enjoy it a whole lot more, especially for the giver if the one receiving is shaved. Theirs nothing more revolting than getting hair stuck between your teeth. Come on we shouldn't have to feel like a cow grazing in the pasture. Now guys I know it is a touchy subject and you think that only fairies and four-hundred-pound prison mates nicknamed tinker bell shave themselves. But let me tell you, you wont even recognize yourself after you shave it, it really does look bigger - A whole lot BIGGER. Plus studies show women prefer a man that is clean and shaven. Oh and if your girl does not like it, throw her a banana and tell her to go back to the jungle where she came from.

Hopefully by now you will realize that body hair really is dirty and has no purpose. The pros of shaving by far out weigh the cons. Sex is a whole lot cleaner with no hair and it is a lot more pleasurable. My only suggestion is when shaving do not use hair clippers, especially down there. I learned the hard way and almost castrated myself about two years ago. A clean sharp razor is the best way to go and the itching goes away in a few days. If you have a problem with irritation, I learned a trick from one of my female associates I do business with down on coahuila street in Tijuana that really works. Squeeze one fresh lemon into a cup and add a tablespoon of salt to it and stir. Once mixed to the right consistency, spread over the freshly shaved area and let sit for approximately five minutes, and then wash off. This is truly a pleasant experience, making shaving a lot more exciting!

In Closing: I apologize to anyone I have offended. I wrote a lot of this with sarcasm. I really do not stereotype and I hold a great respect for the countries and people I referred to - will except for W. The French have the most romantic language of all. The British women make English sound so much more sophisticated and you make me want to move to the Britain. Canada has some of the best medical practices in my opinion, and Cuba has the best. Short, dark, and big brown eyed mexican girls are my weakness. You are what inspires me to create art. Vegan is a healthy lifestyle, though I think there is nothing wrong with eating meat. Canadians and Mexicans are Americans too. They both in in North America you dumb-ass. Leo Tolstoy you are my favorite writer, Lev Davidovich Bronstein, if more men were like you would would be living in greater place. Mahatma Gandhi and Ernesto Guevara de la Serna, even though you took different approaches your dream never changed of creating a better place to live. For the record I am American and I am just not into sports, and I have never owned a gun. Also for those of you that did not know the United States has the highest level of obesity.



Comments (1)
Posted by Sharess, on 30-09-2007 18:13,
1. 3 words
In-grown hairs: ouch.

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By Alexander Grim   
Saturday, 01 September 2007
 
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